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It's been too long!

It has been quite a while since I've written. December to be exact. And now, here we are, almost to the middle of September 2017. Much has changed. Since then, the kids and I have moved into my moms house. The three of us are sleeping in one room. I have a cot for one to sleep on, and the other sleeps with me. They rotate nights, so they each get their turn to snuggle with me. Why, at thirty-one, am I living with my mother? It's not as bad as it sounds. I didn't lose my job. I'm not falling on hard times. 

I AM BUYING A HOUSE! 

In the last six months since we moved in, I have been working my tail off to get my credit right (my score has increased over 100 points in that time), I have been paying down debts, and saving where I can. Six months from now, when I start to look for houses, I will be where I need to be. I am so proud of myself. One year out of my life, living uncomfortably, is worth the rest of our lives feeling secure. 

I also put a pin in college. I did two semesters. I got good grades. I am Proud of myself. I keep saying I'm just taking a break. But I honestly don't know how long that will be. I was beginning to feel like a subpar mother, and I couldn't handle it. My kids come first. During the school year for them, we already have so little time in between activities and homework, I did not want to continue taking more time away from them. It's not an excuse. But if you have read my blogs for a while, or know me on a personal level, you will know that being a mother and having my own family has always been number one in my life. 

Am I in a relationship now? Did 2017 end my reign of single-life (read my last post)? Nope. Not even a little! Lol. I have put myself out there a couple times. But it's pretty easy for me to tell when someone will not fit into our life. And also, not everyone I meet is going to believe I fit into theirs. As I said before, I have no issue waiting for the right match. I've been doing it for 7 years now (yes... single for 7 long years), and I can manage a few more if necessary. 

The kids are fantastic. The school year started on August 10th. They're in 2nd and 3rd grade now. They both like their teachers. Lucas has straight As right now and Autumn has some grades to bring up. She's doing well though and I'm proud of both of them. She's always had to work harder for success academically, and I keep reiterating to her that it makes her success that much sweeter! She can do anything she sets her mind to! Lucas has been blessed with wonderful teachers this year and is thriving. No behavior issues at all and he is enjoying school once again. So of course, my heart is happy. So much has changed in the last year, and we continue to grow and learn. 

Since this is a catch up blog, I'm not focusing on one subject. So I'm going to end with this. I'm going to focus on writing more. While my life is full and busy, I am feeling like I have less people to interact with / to count on. And so my feelings and thoughts have somewhat barricaded. I have withdrawn into myself quite a lot. I already know from past experience that, as an empath, and as a person who thrives in relationships of all forms, I need to release. So here I am! Back at it! 

Thanks for reading! 
💙Nikki 











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