Skip to main content

Introduction

Mom to Autumn and Lucas.
2008-present

Sometimes it feels like the only job I have is mother. Anyone who has done a resume understands the above. :)

So where is the balance? For me, as a very single mom, it can be difficult. I work a full time job and come home to take care of two kids, a dog, a house, and a car all on my own. Now if you're a superstar and find no difficulty in accomplishing all of this without being constantly exhausted, please, for the love of all that is holy and good, tell me how! LOL!

I find myself questioning my abilities on a daily basis.

● Am I giving enough?
● Am I teaching them enough?
● Am I being too hard on them?
● Am I disciplining them enough?
● Am I a horrible mother for giving them pb&j with applesauce and cheeze its for dinner, because I am too damn tired to cook them a well balanced dinner tonight?

.... the list goes on and on.

Then... we go to bed [disclaimer: I share my bed with my children. They rarely sleep in their own beds by choice. Though my 5 year old daughter will every now and then]. Bedtime is usually my favorite time. And not for the reasons you may think. It's our calm time. It's our time to cuddle and talk about the day and share with each other everything we are thinking and feeling. Sounds corny. It's not as deep as you might think. Right now, farting is a hot topic. Lol. On a serious note, we are sometimes at our most vulnerable when we lay down to sleep. Our rough exterior comes down as we succomb to rest. That's when 99.9% of the sweet, 'please never let me forget this,' moments with my children come from. And oh, they are priceless. So my point is this; We go to bed... and laying with my children, I am reminded that while I should care and question myself as a parent for the good of my child, I should not bash myself. I should celebrate all we have and know that I am doing my best.  Because they tell me so.

I think my goal with this blog will be to explore myself as a person. Not only as a mother, but as me. It's something I feel I have been missing; my identity apart from being a mother. A journey that hopefully will unravel into something wonderful.

Thanks for stopping by.

Nicole ♥

Labels:

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 14, 2014 at 6:47 PM

    Awesome first blog! You are such a great writer :-) can't wait to see more!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thirty.

In the blink of an eye... I have become a thirty-year-old woman. I think that when you reach certain ages, it is fairly normal to evaluate your life to determine if you are where you are supposed to be. And I am certainly no exception. I have actually for the most part - been GENUINELY excited to start this new decade of my life. A lot happened in my 20's. Good things, bad things, mediocre things... All of which I am grateful for. Without those challenges, my life would be drastically different. Here are some things that happened in my 20's that I LOVED: 1. Autumn Elaine (22) 2. Lucas Alan (23) 3. Started a new job at Home Instead Senior Care at 24, just days after my ex-husband left. This job brought many good things to my life - including 2 women who I will always consider friends. I learned about living independently, and that I COULD go on without a spouse and be just fine. 4. At 26 (almost 27), I started working at Twin Cities Family Practice. So far, it is the best j...
Post a Comment
Read more

The girl behind the blog.

Getting to know me. My name is Nicole Marie Patterson. My maiden name is Ryman. I am 27 years old and was born in Fallbrook California. I live in florida now as my step dad was stationed here. I have a brother named John.  He is 30. My father passed away when I was 18 years old due to brain cancer. My marital status is divorced. But I just like to call myself single. I never understood why people wanted to label themselves with something that can be seen as so negative. My children are my whole world. I have a daughter, Autumn, who was born on 12-08-08 and is 5 years old. She will start kindergarten this year. She is funny,  smart, creative, and beautiful.  Lucas was born on 12-16-09. He is 4 years old and is the sweetest little boy. He is very smart, silly, giggly, handsome, and loveable. He has the best smile. They are everything to me. ♥ I am a deep, free-thinking, emotional, heart-on-my-sleeve individual. I overthink. I am analytical. I am impulsive. I am al...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mirages

I had a dream last night about an ex boyfriend. But it wasn't ABOUT him. Let me explain. It looked like him. But in the dream I knew it was just a man that looked like him. I know this sounds strange. First of all, let me say I have no feelings left over for any guy I have dated. Everything happened as it should have. This man was just the chosen one to run this dream. The dream was based on a crazy day of spending time with my children and I. A day in which this man had to step up and take care of children who were not his own. In the dream, the day was fun. It was full of twists and turns, but this man took to this responsibility because he loved me. And he was learning to love my kids as well.  At some point we got separated and once home I was waiting on him and the kids. Finally they arrived. And he was unhappy. He wouldn't speak to me at first and needed a few minutes to himself. It was too much. My ready made family was just too much. I remember feeling defeated. I ...
Post a Comment
Read more