Introduction

Mom to Autumn and Lucas.
2008-present

Sometimes it feels like the only job I have is mother. Anyone who has done a resume understands the above. :)

So where is the balance? For me, as a very single mom, it can be difficult. I work a full time job and come home to take care of two kids, a dog, a house, and a car all on my own. Now if you're a superstar and find no difficulty in accomplishing all of this without being constantly exhausted, please, for the love of all that is holy and good, tell me how! LOL!

I find myself questioning my abilities on a daily basis.

● Am I giving enough?
● Am I teaching them enough?
● Am I being too hard on them?
● Am I disciplining them enough?
● Am I a horrible mother for giving them pb&j with applesauce and cheeze its for dinner, because I am too damn tired to cook them a well balanced dinner tonight?

.... the list goes on and on.

Then... we go to bed [disclaimer: I share my bed with my children. They rarely sleep in their own beds by choice. Though my 5 year old daughter will every now and then]. Bedtime is usually my favorite time. And not for the reasons you may think. It's our calm time. It's our time to cuddle and talk about the day and share with each other everything we are thinking and feeling. Sounds corny. It's not as deep as you might think. Right now, farting is a hot topic. Lol. On a serious note, we are sometimes at our most vulnerable when we lay down to sleep. Our rough exterior comes down as we succomb to rest. That's when 99.9% of the sweet, 'please never let me forget this,' moments with my children come from. And oh, they are priceless. So my point is this; We go to bed... and laying with my children, I am reminded that while I should care and question myself as a parent for the good of my child, I should not bash myself. I should celebrate all we have and know that I am doing my best.  Because they tell me so.

I think my goal with this blog will be to explore myself as a person. Not only as a mother, but as me. It's something I feel I have been missing; my identity apart from being a mother. A journey that hopefully will unravel into something wonderful.

Thanks for stopping by.

Nicole ♥