Skip to main content

The girl behind the blog.

Getting to know me.

My name is Nicole Marie Patterson. My maiden name is Ryman. I am 27 years old and was born in Fallbrook California. I live in florida now as my step dad was stationed here. I have a brother named John.  He is 30. My father passed away when I was 18 years old due to brain cancer.

My marital status is divorced. But I just like to call myself single. I never understood why people wanted to label themselves with something that can be seen as so negative.

My children are my whole world. I have a daughter, Autumn, who was born on 12-08-08 and is 5 years old. She will start kindergarten this year. She is funny,  smart, creative, and beautiful.  Lucas was born on 12-16-09. He is 4 years old and is the sweetest little boy. He is very smart, silly, giggly, handsome, and loveable. He has the best smile. They are everything to me. ♥

I am a deep, free-thinking, emotional, heart-on-my-sleeve individual. I overthink. I am analytical. I am impulsive. I am also reserved and very much an introvert to those who do not know me. It takes a while for me to become comfortable around others.

I am disconnected. I have been through a lot in the last 4-5 years. And I have found that through it all, I let myself get to a place of isolation and mistrust in others. Though,  I also trust way too easily. I have learned to 'turn it off.' When someone hurts me, I have created a barrier to allow myself to feel less pain. I find that rather disturbing and its something I am working on. I am not that girl. Refer to the above fact. It's funny the defense mechanisms we allow our heart and minds to create.

Creativity. I love to be creative. I wish I was better at it. But I do love it.

Music is so important to me. I love to sing. I love to listen to music that reflects my thoughts and mood at the current time.  It's a great therapy for me. :)

I want to take a cooking class. I love to cook. But I would love to learn the right ways to cook and how to utilize ingredients better. I think it would be so fun. :)

I do not have a desire to go to college. I just don't.  I don't like school. Now I do intend to eventually going back. But that is simply to provide a better life for my kids through earning a degree. I have always wanted to simply do things I love and be a wife and a mom.  So far, I have the mom thing down. ♥

I have been single for 3 1/2 years. If we are telling the truth though, my marriage was over at least 6 months before the separation, right after our youngest child was born. I am a single mom doing rhe very best I can for my babies. And in 2014, I so hope I allow myself to be open enough to let love in. I am ready for love again, and hope that it finds me.

I am a serious person. Can you tell? Haha. I hope to lighten up and havr more fun! Woohoooooooo! 

So there are some facts about me.

Thanks for stopping by.

♥Nikki

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Watered down.

I haven't had time to write. Or, let's just be honest... I just don't know what to write about. I want to feel inspired to write. One thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is my ability (or lack thereof) to not care what people think of me. It's always been a problem. I pretend pretty well that I don't care. But I do. It's a flaw I wish I could banish into a black hole. I want to be liked. But I am constantly feeling misunderstood. Which makes me think,  am I misunderstood?  Or am I just unlikable?  I don't really think I am unlikable,  for the record. But it crosses my mind. I have moments of clarity where I say to myself,  "This person does not matter to you. Be yourself. They have no idea who you are." Awesome! But those moments are often after days where I feel like the world is working against me. And I do not like to have negative thoughts. So I think that a lot of what my problem is, and always has been,  is that I am overly sens...

Introduction

Mom to Autumn and Lucas. 2008-present Sometimes it feels like the only job I have is mother. Anyone who has done a resume understands the above. :) So where is the balance? For me, as a very single mom, it can be difficult. I work a full time job and come home to take care of two kids, a dog, a house, and a car all on my own. Now if you're a superstar and find no difficulty in accomplishing all of this without being constantly exhausted, please, for the love of all that is holy and good, tell me how! LOL! I find myself questioning my abilities on a daily basis. ● Am I giving enough? ● Am I teaching them enough? ● Am I being too hard on them? ● Am I disciplining them enough? ● Am I a horrible mother for giving them pb&j with applesauce and cheeze its for dinner, because I am too damn tired to cook them a well balanced dinner tonight? .... the list goes on and on. Then... we go to bed [disclaimer: I share my bed with my children. They rarely sl...

PLANNING OUR DREAM FAMILY VACATION!

"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney  In less than five months, the kids and I will be in the most magical place on Earth! I have wanted for so long to take the kids on a Walt Disney World Vacation, but it has never worked out until now. And honestly, I think the timing is perfect. The kids will be just under 8 and 7, and will be able to enjoy most rides. SO EXCITING. I may be more excited than everyone else. Just maybe! So for our first official Disney Vaca, there will be a group of us going.  We will be going during what is considered a low-crowd time, for which I am so grateful. Not only that, but we are going in November. Anyone who lives in FL knows how hot it is during the summer months, so I am very happy to be going during the winter. This vacation was first and foremost an early birthday present for the kids. They will be turning 7 and 8 in December. While December would have been more ideal, Disney is VERY busy around Christmas from what I ...