To be determined

So I was spending time with my awesome friend last night. I may talk about her from time to time, because she is currently the only friend I spend time with on a regular basis. We shall call her Kaila (because that's her name. What else would I call her?) Wow, lame try at a joke, Nicole. Anyways, we were hanging out and her semi-new bf, David, came over. I was letting them use my washer and dryer to get some laundry done before their mini vaca to NOLA. Something occured to me throughout and after they left. I was being very outgoing. And I was pretty uncomfortable most of the time while doing so. Now as I said in my last post, I am mostly an introvert until I get to know you. I feel that maybe this is a good thing. I am not sure yet.  I can only assume that subconsciously I am trying to be more social with those I am not comfortable with because I know I need to meet more/new people. David is a gentleman. A texas good ol' boy who would have been perfectly fine with me just ...

Getting to know me. My name is Nicole Marie Patterson. My maiden name is Ryman. I am 27 years old and was born in Fallbrook California. I live in florida now as my step dad was stationed here. I have a brother named John.  He is 30. My father passed away when I was 18 years old due to brain cancer. My marital status is divorced. But I just like to call myself single. I never understood why people wanted to label themselves with something that can be seen as so negative. My children are my whole world. I have a daughter, Autumn, who was born on 12-08-08 and is 5 years old. She will start kindergarten this year. She is funny,  smart, creative, and beautiful.  Lucas was born on 12-16-09. He is 4 years old and is the sweetest little boy. He is very smart, silly, giggly, handsome, and loveable. He has the best smile. They are everything to me. ♥ I am a deep, free-thinking, emotional, heart-on-my-sleeve individual. I overthink. I am analytical. I am impulsive. I am al...

Mom to Autumn and Lucas. 2008-present Sometimes it feels like the only job I have is mother. Anyone who has done a resume understands the above. :) So where is the balance? For me, as a very single mom, it can be difficult. I work a full time job and come home to take care of two kids, a dog, a house, and a car all on my own. Now if you're a superstar and find no difficulty in accomplishing all of this without being constantly exhausted, please, for the love of all that is holy and good, tell me how! LOL! I find myself questioning my abilities on a daily basis. ● Am I giving enough? ● Am I teaching them enough? ● Am I being too hard on them? ● Am I disciplining them enough? ● Am I a horrible mother for giving them pb&j with applesauce and cheeze its for dinner, because I am too damn tired to cook them a well balanced dinner tonight? .... the list goes on and on. Then... we go to bed [disclaimer: I share my bed with my children. They rarely sl...