Skip to main content

The window has closed.

So yesterday my little man was sick. He woke up very early crying and screaming in pain. It got to the point where I felt it best that I take him to the ER. I had tried to get him an appt on Friday, but they only had one right in the middle of my work day. Turns out my little buddy has a sinus infection and a double ear infection. So I stayed home and took care of him yesterday!

This blog isn't about lucas being sick, though. As I woke up this morning, holding him in my arms, I felt so sad that I would have to drop him off somewhere else.... for somebody else to play with him.

I have missed the window. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. And I missed it. Being a single mom, that is pretty much impossible. I want to get out in the Sunshine on a Wednesday at 10 am and take my kids to the park. I want to take them on a hike. I want to do a scavenger hunt with them on a Friday afternoon.

I am away from my house from 745am-545/6pm Monday through friday. When we get home I need to make dinner, clean, give baths, etc. That leaves so little time to have meaningful relationships with my kids. Then on the weekends it's all catchup with what I wasn't able to get done during the week.

It's all about time management, I keep hearing. I just don't think I should have to fight so hard to spend time with my kids. But that is my life. I do have to have a job. And I am lucky I have the one I have that is understanding when one of my kids are sick. It's a plus in this situation.

I am beginning to realize that what I wanted out of life and what I have are two different things. And I need to be more understanding and appreciative of what is in front of me. We can make this work. I just need to try harder. I need to make some changes.

♡Nikki

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 11, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    Even though I dont have a kid yet, I worry alot about whether I'll be able to be as present as I want to be. I'm going to be a working mom too but I think as long as we try our best, the kids will pick up on that. But there seriously just isn't enough time in a day, huh?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PLANNING OUR DREAM FAMILY VACATION!

"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney  In less than five months, the kids and I will be in the most magical place on Earth! I have wanted for so long to take the kids on a Walt Disney World Vacation, but it has never worked out until now. And honestly, I think the timing is perfect. The kids will be just under 8 and 7, and will be able to enjoy most rides. SO EXCITING. I may be more excited than everyone else. Just maybe! So for our first official Disney Vaca, there will be a group of us going.  We will be going during what is considered a low-crowd time, for which I am so grateful. Not only that, but we are going in November. Anyone who lives in FL knows how hot it is during the summer months, so I am very happy to be going during the winter. This vacation was first and foremost an early birthday present for the kids. They will be turning 7 and 8 in December. While December would have been more ideal, Disney is VERY busy around Christmas from what I ...
1 comment
Read more

I get it.

Wow, guys! What a crazy and busy week it was. I am so glad it is over. Last night was so peaceful. The kids fell asleep on me while we were watching TV, and I just thought to myself, "How lucky am I?" I am so lucky and grateful to have my kids. And they love me, faults and all. Unconditionally. As I do, them. This weekend is going to be pretty quiet. Full of laundry, cleaning, and all things domestic. I wish I could say we we're doing something fun and exciting, but it's hard to do fun and exciting things in dirty underwear, right?! Haha! Tomorrow we are going to the Williams house for Sunday Funday Pizza Night. I just made that up. I'll work on it.  I met with my advisor again. I have my first 4 semesters mapped out. And, even though I have to take a college prep math course that will not count towards my degree credit hours, after 1 full year, I will be halfway done with the AA portion of my degree. So, though I originally thought this may take me 6-8 y...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thirty.

In the blink of an eye... I have become a thirty-year-old woman. I think that when you reach certain ages, it is fairly normal to evaluate your life to determine if you are where you are supposed to be. And I am certainly no exception. I have actually for the most part - been GENUINELY excited to start this new decade of my life. A lot happened in my 20's. Good things, bad things, mediocre things... All of which I am grateful for. Without those challenges, my life would be drastically different. Here are some things that happened in my 20's that I LOVED: 1. Autumn Elaine (22) 2. Lucas Alan (23) 3. Started a new job at Home Instead Senior Care at 24, just days after my ex-husband left. This job brought many good things to my life - including 2 women who I will always consider friends. I learned about living independently, and that I COULD go on without a spouse and be just fine. 4. At 26 (almost 27), I started working at Twin Cities Family Practice. So far, it is the best j...
Post a Comment
Read more