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Corners.

I often wonder if I really know the people around me. I have had so many relationships where I have put my whole trust in someone, only to find out later on, that there true colors were never exposed to me fully. I feel, with all my heart, that when I love someone, whether it be in friendship or a romantic relationship, that I give myself to that person. I am me. I find it hard to be anything but. Well, I felt that way. Maybe not anymore. Because, as it turns out, I have withheld the corners of my heart for quite some time.

I am a happy person... do not get me wrong. But there is so much more to me than what I portray. I am, by nature, a sensitive, emotional, serious person. I have focused so much on trying to be "light" and "laid-back" that I have, as I said, withheld myself from those I love. I have a connection issue. It is something I have been working on for over a year now. I have friends, but I do not feel connected to them in a way I felt before. It is a defense mechanism that I created after some terrible things happened to me shortly after my son was born, which co-incited with the fall of my marriage.

CONNECT. It's all I want to do. I want someone to see me for who I am, and love me in spite of it. Or better yet, BECAUSE of it.

There is nothing better for a heart than deep, unconditional love. I remember how that felt. My heart felt full, then. Even the corners. 

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