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Slaying Dragons

I often wonder when I will be free to express myself.

What hurts me, I must keep to myself as to not hurt someone else in the process.

I could write 5 pages worth of how I FEEL right now. But I am going to just say that I feel drained.

I also feel like a hippie (that was meant to be funny, not awkward-sounding). Because I believe that peace, love, and happiness can co-exist, even in the midst of chaos. But no one else does.

A couple of things weighing heavy on me:

1. Love should be unconditional. That is love between spouses, and love between family members. You should love the people you love with your whole heart without expectation. It took me a long time to get that.

2. HATE gets you absolutely no where. Except for down. That's what hate gets you.

3. Having "something" to hurt another person when shit gets tough is the equivalent of running away. You can run away, but there you are. And guess what? There you will always be. Does that make you feel good? I didn't think so. It's okay. IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES.

4. I have been too hard on my children today. This has nothing to do with the above items. But I thought I would talk about it anyways. I try to be kind as much as possible, and sometimes, you have those days where you feel like you are yelling entirely too much. It's ok. Tomorrow will be a better day. I am a good mom, and they are wonderful, beautiful, spirited, joyful children. We are going to slay dragons together. We will come out on top as long as we have each other.

Tomorrow is not promised. Please do not take for granted the love you have in your heart. Give it freely, and without reservation or expectation.

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